Think about it, when you cant stand to look at yourself, how will you ever let a lover look into your eyes and tell you youre beautiful?. WebThis post is written to give you some tips on how Targets of Blame can deal with a person with borderline personality disorder. (2021). That would just lead to more conflicts. She may be cheating on you if she used to tell you but now keeps you in the dark. That just increases their defensiveness and makes things worse. A major commitment makes it more difficult to pull out of a relationship quickly, clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula writes in Oprah Magazine. Both hurt like hell. Why Do Some People Fall in Love With Abusive Partners? More importantly, it can create a sense of resentment and distrust that may lead to significant challenges with your partner. If you can, try to stay calm and give the person a statement which shows empathy, attention and/or respect (an EAR Statement): I can see how frustrating this situation is for you. Shirley Arteaga, a certified coach, says, The human body is amazing in its capacity for discerning the truth in others.. These are all signs that she is attempting to appear innocent and conceal her affair. I've given him the decision, either don't talk about this nonsense or don't call. That conversation wont be easy, but you need to have it anyway. Try not to be too rejecting in your tone of voice. Getting more information from your partner may help clear up accusations. You may also start to feel your partner doesnt have your back or that they dont know you at all. She might tell herself, for example, that its okay to cheat on you because you havent been paying her enough attention lately. Accusing someone of cheating without proof or based solely on a persons whims says a lot more about them than the person they are accusing. Related Reading: How To Find Out If Your Partner Is Cheating Online? I become toxically narcissisticself-hating to the point where I irrationally project my emotional insecurities onto those around me. It may not be cheating, but there is almost certainly something you and your significant other should discuss.. Through your sessions, you'll learn essential communication skills that can help you through tough times and strengthen your relationship. Unable to regulate their own emotions and prone to profound pain, people with BPD are doing what they can to communicate their agony and try to protect themselves from it, even when it ultimately only serves to alienate those they are trying to keep close. BPD wife accusing me of cheating. How do I help her realize it is While you may be surprised by her response and feel rejected, there could be deeper reasons for your feelings. In some cases, they have a high-conflict personality, meaning that they have a repeated pattern of focusing their anger on one or more specific Targets of Blame, which prolongs or escalates conflicts. Though everyone is different, there are a few reasons why you may still love an abusive partner. Borderline HCPs make a fundamental mistake about the cause of their problems. by momof4yearold Mon Oct 30, 2006 3:34 pm, Return to Borderline Personality Disorder Forum, Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot] and 44 guests.